Wow! The Opportunities Never End!
I received this urgent missive just today!
“Thank you very much for your urgent response to to me
“I am Ms. Liza Wong the Head of Accounting Audit Department of HSBC BANK (HSBC)in Malaysia. In my department in the Bank where i work, I discovered a sum of $85.5 Million USD In an account that belongs to one of our foreign deceased customers, a billionaire Business Mogul Late Mr.Moises Saba Masri, a Jew from Mexico who was a victim of a helicopter crash since 2010 which resulting to his death and his family members.
“You can see more information about Saba Masri Mr.Moises unfortunate end accident on the website-link below.
[link deleted to ensure your safety]
“Now our bank has been waiting for any of the relatives to come forth for the claim but nobody has done that SINCE 2010. I personally have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives,Which the Board of Directors are planning to share this funds among them-self. Which i have good heart to use this funds to help the poor and the motherless home. I seek your consent as my foreign business partner in this transaction to present you as the next of kin/Beneficiary to the deseased, so that the funds of this account valued at $85.5 Million usd can be paid to your local bank account in your country. Also this transaction is 100% free risk, because i have all the legal document with me to make this transaction possible, and the funds we be share 50/50
“I want to use part of my funds to help orphanage and motherless child home And i dont know about you. Please Provide me the following few information about you, as we have few days to run it through.
“Your Full Names And Contact Number to proceed.
“i will furnish you with more information on this business transaction once i get your respond back asap.
Ms. Liza Wong”
Yep, I’m sure I’ll be getting back to “Liza” as soon as I acquire a cat that I can will my estate to. There’s a shelter in Yuma, I think. Or perhaps I should also use my share to “help the poor and the motherless home”, as “Liza” plans to do, not like those selfish bastards on the HSBC Board of Directors, hey? HSBC Bank is the one that recently admitted to and was lightly slapped on the wrist for intentionally skirting U.S. banking laws in order to launder money from drug cartels in Mexico through its U.S. facilities. After all, we’re the cartels’ very best customers, by far. So choosing it as the holder of Mr. Moises’ fictitious millions was an appropriate scamming choice, wouldn’t you say?
Dear Ms. Wong. I won a $500 lottery last week and had relatives I didn’t even know I had come out of the woodwork. Maybe you should wait a little longer.
But if it is still not claimed, please forward all funds to the “Build-A-Wall” fund, c/o D. Trump. It is what any self respecting Jewish Mexican Mogul Billionaire who does not have a will would want.
Dad sets it up and Walt goes in for the slam dunk!
Oh, the places I would send dirty diapers to as punishment for filling my inbox with garbage….
It’s your lucky day!