Strolling Amok

Ooo! More Junk Mail Friends!

Apparently, I’m more popular than I thought! Witness the following emails I received recently:

“Greetings,
I am Judece Michael Tisioh, writing with due respect, trust and humanity, I got your email address after an extensive on-line search via network power charitable trust for a reliable person. Please exercise a little patience and read through my letter, I feel quite safe dealing with you in this important message, I will really like to have a good understanding with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, I decided to contact you due to the urgency of my situation. I’m writing you from hospital bed, therefore this message is very urgent. I have a donation to make which I will need your assistance to carry it out, I will be 62 years old this coming month, I’m a widow and a government worker for many years here in Ivory Coast. I have sum of $4.9 Million, Four Million Nine Hundred Thousand United States Dollars with my late husband Hon. Michael Tisioh, I want to donate to orphanage homes and Charity organizations through you.
“I have a serious cancer disease and will be going for my third surgical operation, although the doctors had already confirmed that I will only last for few months but I am glad that the lord has kept me safe and guided me to accomplish my desires. I want you to contact my house helper, I have given him the documents of the funds and have directed him to a lawyer that will assist you to change the documents of the fund to your name to enable my bank transfer the fund to you.
Victor Bailly Joshua.
Address: Avenue 16, Wade Ave,
Abidjan 16, Cote d’Ivoire.
Email: vbailly17@gmail.com
He will give you the documents and direction on how to contact the lawyer i contracted to assist you, the lawyer will do everything on your behalf here in Ivory Coast to ensure the success of my fund transfer to you.
This is the favor i want from you after you received the fund under your control.
(1) Give 20% of the money to Victor Bailly, he has been here for me throughout and i promised to support him, therefore you will take him as your child.
(2) Give 60% of the money to charity organizations, orphanage homes e.t.c, on my name so that my wishes will be fulfilled.
(3) The remaining 20% should be for you and others that you may personally wish to assist.
Remain Blessed,
Mrs. Judece Michael Tisioh.
—
This message has been scanned for viruses and
dangerous content by MailScanner, and is
believed to be clean.”

And the following personal message from one Susan Williams, entitled “Hello Dear”:

“Hi
How are you? I must confess that you’re a nice looking gentle man on your profile.Are you married?, Can we be friends?????
Susan”

The latter is especially engaging because it was marked “To: undisclosed recipients”, which means it was broadcast to a ton of people like myself. You know, guys with that same kind of sensual masculinity that I have. Makes me feel special, because “Susan” knows I’m handsome by the photo of me that is missing from my profile page. Somehow, I have the feeling that any reply will eventually turn to the topic of finances. How is it that my mail program segregated these great opportunities into my junk mail folder?

Sheesh!